Ok, have you ever made a decision and questioned if your final one was the right one? Who among us hasn’t? It can range the gamut from “Why did I say that?” to “Is this message from God or…….?” I think in one form or another, we have each had our moments of questioning and I am no different.
I have posted before about forgiveness. I have shared my thoughts on what I believe God expects of us as His children where this decision is concerned. It truly is a decision, a choice, an option. God gives us all the tools we need and then allows us to seek His guidance in utilizing those tools.
Sometimes the choices are easy, sometimes, not so much. It is sometimes VERY clear what we should do in response to certain circumstances but there are those situations where it is not as cut and dry. In these instances, we have the opportunity to stretch our faith and dependency on Him.
In my own life, I have struggled with those who have crossed my path (and patience) and left a bitter taste in my mouth. I am left with the decision of how to proceed, whether or not to try to reconcile or simply move forward and away from a potentially harmful situation. I believe that the decisions we make when faced with difficult choices are determined by our experiences. How have we handled such things in the past? How would we like to change the way we do things in the future? Where are we in our spiritual walk with the Lord and our understanding of what we believe He would have us do? All these things are factors.
There are people who are simply passing through my life, here for only a season and in those instances the choice is an easy one. Yet others are a part of it (for better or worse) for as long as God grants me breath. I can look back and see where I have been challenged by fractured relationships and where I have learned from them (good or bad there is always a lesson to be learned).
The Lord tells us in Luke 6:37 that we have to forgive so we will forgiven.
Matthew 6:14-16 tells us that if we do not forgive then the Father will not forgive us.
Forgiveness is ALWAYS about us not the person we need to forgive. My pastor said recently something that I found very intriguing. He said that holding onto the anger and unforgiveness is like allowing someone to possess valuable real estate without paying any rent. Wow! That is a word picture if ever I saw one. It doesn’t affect the other person at all if we hold onto our unforgiveness. Emotional hurt and injury causes us to want to recoil and shut down for self-protection. It makes us want to be less open, less trusting, less willing to put ourselves out there. Yet this behavior choice only causes us distress not the other person who perpetrated the offense on us. We, in our human nature, sometimes seek resolutions that are, well, I’ll say less than “Christ-like”. There is much truth in the phrase “The best revenge is living a good, happy life”.
In all my studies, I have never found where the Lord asks us to “forgive and forget”. This is one of those phrases that is attributed to the Bible without foundation. Like the phrase “Cleanliness is next to Godliness”. Good intentions, but not biblical. From some standpoints, there are many cases where forgetting the grievance is not the wisest position to take. Forgiveness of an abuser is one those areas where you need to be cautious. Whether the abuse is physical, emotional, sexual or spiritual……..forgive? yes! Forget? NO! One needs to carefully and sincerely seek the Lord’s guidance in such situations. Forgiving your abuser is a requirement but the actions you choose to take in light of such violations has to be a matter of prayer. Each person has to be at peace with the decision they make and be willing to live with the consequences which follow.
We are instructed in Proverbs 4:23 to “Guard your heart because everything you do flows from it”.
I believe we can make a choice to forgive someone for offenses without keeping a relationship with that person. Forgetting is not a requirement we are instructed to embrace. Each situation is unique and must be examined on its own merits. If your spirit is right before God, if you can honestly say you have forgiven then no one can or should judge your intent or heart. No one knows the heart of another and as such, we must all be careful of how we convey our perspectives when attaching them to someone elses actions. Keeping ourselves holy and just before God is our most fundamental, as well as, our highest goal. Work toward that objective and be convinced deep in your soul that your behavior is in line with the Spirit. Allow God to be the force which guides your actions.
Above all……guard your heart!
that I never gave any thought to before. I never considered health insurance beyond what our co-pay was until we had to start paying a nearly $6,000 deductible for the year. Never thought about the cost of the medications our family had to take until that cost came out of my account every time I had to go to the pharmacy. It has been a difficult undertaking for us but we know we are fortunate to even have coverage when so many others do not. Still, it is a juggling act some months to make sure everything is covered. I know everyone has their crosses to bear, this is one of mine.
back tomorrow to pick up all my insulin and supplies! It is such a weight off my mind right now. To know that in an area I had fretted about and had difficulty seeing my way around, the Lord had the solution all the time. But then, doesn’t He always?
apprehensive because I would be meeting many new people. I was thrilled because my Mama and sister were there and since we live on opposite sides of the country now we don’t get to see one another like we did when we were in the same city. I was tearful because it was the first major event for our family in which my mother-in-law would not be present, (she passed away in 07). But after it was all said and done, I was relieved that we had survived relatively in tact. Whew! It was close let me tell you.
I have lived. Are there things about it I would change? Sure, who wouldn’t? But I love where I am now. I live in a great city, have a wonderful church with solid teaching and good people. When I am feeling down and depressed, I can go for a long walk on the beach and talk with the Lord while marvelling at His beautiful creations and that allows me to put things into perspective. I have the privilege of living with the man I have loved since I laid eyes on him some 26 years ago. We have a really good thing. We know one another inside and out. There is no one in the world I would rather spend time with than him. He is my support, my champion, my life partner, my love and I am grateful everyday for him.
timing is too coincidental to be a coincidence. You know what I mean? The accident that causes the car to go off the road and flip a few times throwing the driver out of the car occurs in front of a house owned by a paramedic who just “happens” to be home at the time of the accident and can render aid. And BTW, he is also a preacher starting up his own church and the accident victim is in spiritual need as well as physical. Too much to be happenstance.
was miserable. Because we had planned on staying in Greenville for a long time (insert heavenly laughing here) we purchased a home. That home proved VERY difficult to sell as the economy took a nose dive and the weeks apart turned into months. We brought our eldest daughter home from college in December, packed up the car and headed for Charleston to spend Christmas together with DH in a hotel room. Strange as it was at least we were together.
downsize. There were some problems getting things set up with the rental agency which I will spare you the details on but after 2 months here those things are still not resolved. We kept addressing the issues but nothing was being done. Very frustrating. Then this morning the doorbell rings. Because last night was another sleepless night for me, I was resting and DD answered the door. On the other side of it stood the owner of the house. DD told me this lady was very nice and had made an good impression which was comforting. I found out that she lives in Washington state and is here helping a friend who is ill and stopped by to introduce herself and ask if we were being treated well by the rental agency. DD told her a few of the issues we have had and that was all it took to set things in motion. Amazing how quickly things will happen when you talk with the right person. She, too, was having difficulty reaching the rental agency which is what prompted her visit to the house but boy! was I glad she decided to stop by.
she will accomplish what needs to be done. I do not know how this couple came to the decision to make this home available for rent instead of selling it but because they did I have a roof over my head. Because she had a friend in Charleston who was in need, she came back here unexpectedly. Because she could not reach the rental agent, she stopped by to introduce herself. And, because she is a Godly woman she has integrity and I believe she will honor her word to correct the problems we are having.
When I was a little girl, fewer things could thrill my heart more than to hear my folks say we were going to take a trip to the beach. In those days I was without the concerns that plague me now. I didn’t think of piddly things such how long it would take us to drive there, how we would finance it, where we would sleep, what we would eat or who would take care of the animals we’d be leaving back at home. All I was concerned about was getting there, playing in the water, finding shells and sea glass and getting a tan (I actually burned). It was so exciting for me. Its is one of my earliest childhood memories and just about the only happy ones which included my father. Perhaps I will elaborate more on that last statement in a later post but today is about sweet memories.
e we got out of town was with the youth retreats and such. Then we were blessed with first one daughter then another and life changed little by little for us. Priorities too, changed and we understood why it was so important to set aside time to spend as a family. Our attitudes changed and we knew how important family time was without outside influence or interference. To reconnect and partake in what my DH calls “sand castle therapy” was a renewal of mind, body and spirit and it made for some great Daddy / Daughter days. From the first trip my girls had at the beach to the last one with them, sand castle therapy was always part of the trip (along with looking for shells and sea glass with Mama).
and soothes their souls and I hope that it always will. As this next phase of their lives begin to unfold, (one about to be a wife, one about to be in college) I hope it is with smiles and sighs that they remember the joy of the ocean, of making happy memories, of the times they were little and felt that tangible glee at the sight of the waves lapping up on the sand.

